I was pitched a concept piece by Degree Men a few months ago, the crux of which involved competing in an NFL-styled combine against a handful of sports writers. I jumped at the opportunity for a few reasons. First, I’d have the chance to meet Hines Ward whose homicidal disposition and devastating ability to duff out linebackers is something I’ve always admired. Second, I’d be competing against sports writers who are—ironically—the most slovenly, unathletic people in media. I’d shine, or so I thought.